Coffee and evolution
When I came to work not long ago, one of the guys saluted me. We have nothing to do with the military, it was just flippant. I raised my coffee cup toward him and told him "this is the junk food salute."
I make a full pot of coffee every morning, and would you believe the family thinks I can't cook? After the first few times, I made it without the recipe and didn't even look at the check list. The only other items I've been able to do that with have been toast flambé and smoked popcorn, my most frequent productions after coffee.
I would be happy to recommend the book but it seems to have 2 completely different titles, which might make it harder to find. On the front cover it says "Sophisticated Cooking for Dummies" and along the binding it says "open from opposite side."
Then when it's made, no one else gets any. I drink it myself and it doesn't take long. I started thinking, "There's no point in getting a cup dirty. I could just snap the lid off the pot and drink it from there."
I mentioned my idea to a couple of women who didn't seem so impressed with it that they were going to start doing it themselves. It might be just one of those fast, efficient guy things.
The power company wanted to install a separate meter for my coffee maker. They said it would help balance the load on their system and they would give me their bulk rates. Unfortunately before that could happen I had to cut way back because of a nasty side effect and they stopped negotiating. All that coffee was keeping me awake at work.
About 1990 the Astro van came out with a model that had 13 cup holders. One of the Detroit executives commented "This used to be a horsepower race, now it's a ****ing cup holder race." I was telling someone about that van in a building where there were really a lot of people carrying cups when I came up with the handyman's theory of evolution. If it is still progressing we are all going to grow a third arm that ends in a cup holder instead of a hand.
I enjoyed telling anyone carrying a cup about the theory for a few days, and 2 different women expressed a concern about clothes. "But we'll have all these sweaters we won't be able to wear." "You could cut a hole in each of them until style catches up." (Miss Fashion and Mr. Fixit try to get along.)
Next, if evolution keeps progressing, it will probably become a trunk. It doesn't have to be very long, but it should be able to bulge enough that it can suck up a whole pot of coffee. Then even if we are working with both hands, it can still squirt some where it needs to go. At that point we will have it made, and evolution for us will probably come to a complete stop.
From the Discovery Channel Newsroom.
